Aikido as a way of life.

 Wow, when we started training on Zoom in March, I never thought we would still be at it in January.  Ron and I are making the best of the circumstances by training with a few students 3 time a week. Even though we don't get to have the amazing Ki exchange that happens during in-person class I still feel like I am training authentically. We do a bokken kata, a ki exercise kata, solo techniques practicing uke and nage roles and weapons practice. It sure beats the alternative which is no practice. While I  hope to see see you on the mat soon I will be happy to see you Zoom. 

 October 19th, 2020 I have leaned into some of my demons in this time of Covid. As we continue to train 3 times a week on Zoom I still get to see and feel the person I can change. Me. I still feel fearful, insecure and irrelevant at times just like I did at in-person classes.  I go to class no matter how I feel. My brain comes up with many ideas about why I shouldn’t go to class, including: “why bother? You don’t have an uke so it’s not real, or a lot of the people you train with have stopped training so maybe this whole thing is just stupid.” I go anyway just in case my brain is wrong and this Aikido training on Zoom is relevant.   After class I feel like I have explored ideas, had a good workout, practiced with my friends and learned something. What more can I expect from Aikido class?  I had a dream the other night where my uke who was a large, heavy man, looked up at me after I thew him and said, “Mary, you are becoming softer and more refined.” I was pleased in my dream. I’m takin

Everything can be our uke. Any situation, good, bad or unlabeled provides a unique set of circumstances that challenges us to maintain or regain our centers. First, we totally let ourselves off the hook. There is no winning or losing in centering training. We are either centered or we are not. If I lose my center I simply get it back as quickly as I can. Judgment is not helpful and counterproductive.  Why waste time and energy? Just get back to training as quickly as you can. At work if I have a difficult customer, I can notice where my awareness is in my body. If my awareness is not below my navel. I will notice where it is. Then I can let it drop down as soon as I am able. I pay attention to my centering process instead to judging the other person or myself. By getting centered again or at least trying I can only help the circumstance because I have come out of my critical mind. My boss telling me what a good job I am doing presents me with another opportunity to practice bein

I asked Ron to watch me while I was preparing for our Zoom class today. He looked perplexed until I told him that I was doing shomen uchi kaiten nage.  I kept getting my hands mixed up. Technique is harder for me with Fred, the imaginary uke than with a live uke. Finally, I was able to be consistent on both sides and we will practice it tonight in class. I like how nage's hands relate to each other. Kaiten nage means wagon wheel. I imagine a spoke in a wheel as nage leads uke’s arm and head into a front fall or forward roll.

Language matters. Is it isolation or solitude?  Positive mind is cultivated through awareness, acceptance and then, action. I don't have to be happy with circumstances to accept them. I blend and move and feel whatever I feel. When I train on and off the mat I have choices. Aikido gives me a framework to apply to all situations when I am willing. It makes life interesting. We are having Zoom classes. They are fun and I feel connection with others when we are training together. I am looking at each day I am healthy and alive as a blessing. I accept what is and move on. I have been doing small ukemi most days and weapons training as well as Ki exercises. Ron just emailed out his Ki exercise form which I find very challenging especially when I try to do it slow and right. lol Each day I have enough for what I need and more. I am off to do my rolls. Hope you are enjoying your solo training, too.

Ron and I have been practicing together. We are experimenting with Zoom and getting ready to do a trial class. When we have a clue we will offer a class to our students. Each day I have the opportunity to be positive and to look for the blessings. There are many. I hope you are finding blessings too. We will keep you posted on the Zoom class. I would love to hear about your solo practice. Please share your process with me.

For Ron and I this is not an issue. We have someone to train with and a place to do it. Here are some suggestions you might not have thought of for solo practice. Check out Berkshire Hills Aikido on Facebook and Instagram for some Ki exercises and bokken practice. We will posting short videos to give you ideas. Do your ki exercises at least once a day. Use a short sword for indoor practice or train outside with bokken and jo. Don't break the lights or furniture. :) Practice techniques with an invisible uke. For example, respond to a yokemen attack with a yokemen retreat then go into kokyu nage or shi ho nage. pay attention to your footwork. Are you doing nice dramatic steps or tiny baby steps? Lol. Practice small rolls on a softish surface. Extend ki though a person if you are getting annoyed with them. Remember that we can only feel our feelings. Uke's contribution is a gift. Close your eyes and remember details of what you wre just looking at. Do a mind vis

After years of being whom I thought I needed to be to please others I had no self to be. I am learning who I am by paying attention to how I feel and what I think. I stop and listen to my thoughts as they pass through. I sit in whatever I am feeling, name the feeling and then release it. In the past I tried to perceive what would keep me safe or what would make you like me. I would act however I could to create that reality. As I became aware that those coping behaviors were keeping me stuck, I still resisted change. It was scary. I didn’t know if I changed if there would be anyone behind the mask. Now I accept change after I become aware of the need to change and then I practice small actions to become healthier. These days I embrace this new adventure of seeing who I am, how I feel, what I think and what I choose. If someone advises me to, just be myself, I inwardly say, okay, and step into another opportunity to learn more about my good friend, me.

I was explaining to a new student that as uke we get to be curious.  I demonstrated that when nage turns, I follow to see where they went giving nage motion and energy to work with.  Often an uke will just hang on to the wrist when nage turns or enters.  Nage does not have to do anything because the attack stops and there is no need to defend anymore. We work at simulating an open, inquiring attitude when we uke. Each time we step into the question. We don’t rely on what we think we know or what we expect to happen.  At work, I felt unheard and defensive. After class last Thursday it occurred to me that I could be curious about the situation. I don’t have to understand everything right away. I can stay open and follow. And most importantly just as in Aikido training I can celebrate the conflict. I don’t need to take it personally.  It is just another opportunity to be mindful and peaceful.  Such a challenge every day.  

I had just showed a lovely video regarding our dojo to a work mate of mine.  And she said, “What’s the point? I was flabbergasted. I had no words for her. This was a women who had moved to the Berkshires from across the country, fleeing from the love of her life (her words, not mine) who had blackened both of her eyes. She had 2 beautiful teen age sons whose every move was dictated by her and an ex-husband that she hated just on general principles. Now that I have had some time to think, here is my answer to her: The point of Aikido training: It is not okay for people to hit you. Someone that hits you does not love you. When we exert our will over people they grow to resent us. And no one deserves to hate any one. The hatred poisons us not them. In aikido we learn to let things happen, to reconcile with conflict and to accept things as they are. We learn to be truthful with ourselves and with others. Our sense of humor increases. Peace develops in us and then radiates from us as w

Accept what is, blend and move on. This is my new mantra for getting through February. This month is seems like everyone is going south and getting warm. I have customers that call and ask what the temperature is here. I tell them 25 degrees and snowing with a stiff wind. They chuckle and say it's 80 and sunny here. I know I could have planned a February vacation but I didn't. So thank god it is warming up a bit and we had 2 straight days of sunshine.  The weather is much easier to accept than people's moods. It has been a hell of month of disgruntled people. I have gotten thrown off my center at least 4 times this month. This last time I couldn't sleep because of my anxiety about not being perfect. Toss in my new way of eating the includes no potato chips, French Fries, bread matter, rice, pasta or mashed potatoes and we have a recipe for touchiness. So here I am. My equilibrium brought back by chatting with trusted people, prayer, meditation and finally cl

Last night I was very tired and a little off as I went into class. I offered a 6 move jo kata to class.  We worked on it separately for a few minutes. Then we started doing it together on both sides because we could transition easily to the other side by flipping the stick over after the last yokemen strike. I was merrily doing all my strikes when I suddenly noticed that I was way ahead of everyone. In fact, a couple of students had just stopped. I asked what the problem was. Turns out I was going too fast. I had forgotten that I had practiced several times in my office during the afternoon. The moves felt very familiar to me. Sheepishly, I apologized for my self-centeredness.  We started again much more in sync. That was just the beginning of an awkward class.  I offered a shomen uchi kokyu nage with the note of throwing while barely touching uke. After the students went through of round of throws, I asked them if they thought it would work in a real life situation. Dora said y

I noticed Ron open his shoulders while I was throwing the circle of ukes.It was a subtle cue for me to open mine. I am always surprised when I think I have great posture. I take a correction and find that it could be fixed. I opened my shoulders and immediately felt more relaxed. My arms could now move freely as the shoulder joints were at their maximum expansion. The relaxation in my arms spread though my body. The whole exercise became easier and felt better for me and probably for my uke. I had a hard time with correction after my 3rd dan test. I felt like had been training for ten years and was ready to do aikido. I was outwardly polite. Inwardly, I chafed at any suggestion that Ron made. I spent a few years like that. Then Ron started coming to my class as a student. I loved the idea of Ron training in my class. The reality was another thing. He could be a grouchy student. I would ask him to do something a bit different. Not because he was wrong but because I wanted him t

Entering from my center can be a challenge. The attack was tsuki with a bokken…the defense… just a turn of the bokken with a slight irimi. My center came up most times I was attacked. I felt a slight movement backwards…hardly seen but felt by me. After class I asked Ron to attack me until I could enter and turn my bokken without flinching. Without moving back …without moving my feet…or just my head …oh so slight. By the time we left I could enter, turn my bokken and my center stayed down. My first step was asking for help…then I could acknowledge how rattled I was. Now, I am looking forward till class tomorrow when I get to do it again…a little stronger and less afraid.

Tenkan is by far my go to move...I love the feel. The turn creates drama and effect. Why do nages deprive themselves of this wonderful feeling? Tenk....is boring, ineffective...listless even. Uke gets to rest and lean and just overpower users of tenk.... What is tenk you ask? It is a little over half of tenkan. Tenk is that pitiful move that so many do when they could be doing tenkan...rather than sweep their foot in a dramatic circle creating space and energy for themselves and their uke they turn a little and then back peddle. Ukes moves in… settles down and nage feels frustrated and overridden. Why? Because nage is overridden…Uke is not resisting…Uke is resting…Why? Because by doing tenk nage has provided a perfect place to rest! Most people do a beautiful tenkan without an uke...then uke attacks and they revert to that horrible tenk.... Let us praise tenkan!…Dare to let go of tenk…and rejoice in tenkan!

Having a beginner in class is such a gift. As people who have practiced together for a log time we can go to sleep. You grab me I do this. You hit shomen, I do Tenkan.   It is all beautiful, graceful and lovely. I truly love it. A beginner brings back those eyes of: what if? How come? Literal questions and questions that rise from their movements. It gives us all an opportunity to celebrate the real and the now. To accept what is and move on. To enjoy the purity of movement not learned yet. Such potential is promised with beginners in class.