Saturday, November 19, 2016

Aikido attacks are like real attacks





Aikido attacks are like real attacks. How, you ask? We are working at simulating the realness of an actual attack. We give energy and follow. When an attack happens in life it is unexpected and spontaneous. The person being attacked feels uncomfortable and may deny and minimize. In aikido we can just be with what is happening. We can even celebrate the attack because uke is gifting us with energy.

We have been talking in class about attacking by directing our energy towards nage’s center. We don’t push or pull. We give a live attack with intention and energy and then we follow as nage leads. Uke lets go of any agenda and simulates the spontaneity of the energy a real attack would have. In class today uke grabbed nage’s wrist in different ways and nage then told uke what the attack felt like so uke could have an idea of what was happening right away from their nage.

We continued with this idea as uke grabbed nage’s wrist with intention and energy towards nage’s center. No pushing, no pulling or lifting or pushing down -- just good honest grabbing energy. Nage could do any throw by responding to ukes energy. This training makes uke have to slow down as they go find their nage and continue their attack. When uke attacks in this genuine way nage has energy to work with.

Sometimes people will poo poo this idea saying: this attack is not real enough. As if a hard grab that just holds on to nage’s wrist is realistic. Why would anybody just grab and hold?  If an attacker does do that one can still make the connection but our goal today was for uke to become more conscious of their part in this connection of uke and nage that makes up aikido.

One time I was grabbed by 2 hands on my one wrist. The person was trying to push past me to get out the door. I relaxed and let the energy of the person go where she was directing it and she went right down to floor. She looked up so surprised and snarled “Don’t you use aikido on me.” But I had and it worked. My center clicked right in and the anger I was feeling went right away.

Kim and I went to a black belt mixed art seminar and one of the instructors was talking about being grabbed as if it were a big deal. Kim and I just looked at each other and shrugged. We are used to it.
Because of my aikido training my body knew exactly what to do when I was grabbed. Training really matters. It keeps us safer and helps us look at what we can change. Again, I am the only thing I can change. Any other practice is futile. I must look at myself, accept what I see and change what I can. Then I can be the healthiest and safest me that is alive at any given moment.  





Monday, November 14, 2016

it really is not about fighting.


In aikido and I am speaking of the aikido I train in and am not comparing it to or denigrating any other style; it really is not about fighting.

What I mean by fighting is that it is not a sport or a contest. For me, aikido is self-defense. It is about what I have to do to protect myself. This to me means in daily life and self-defense situations.

Aikido is conciliatory and restorative.  My training helps me protect myself from others and from myself. It reduces life to the simplest form where I have to feel what is and do what I can. I can blame and I can whine…and I get to see how ineffective both of those responses are. I can come back to center and accept and do what I can. I can move or change myself. I cannot change another. Another may be moved when I move or change.

 My focus must be on moving me and not them. This truth is so good for me on the mat and out in the world. I am empowered when I keep the focus on me and what I can do instead of wandering off my path to meddle in other people’s business.

An example on the mat is having uke grab nage’s wrists and hold. If nage tries to move uke, uke will resist. If nage moves herself, extending energy and maintaining connection, uke will move with nage.  A way to do this is to roll the shoulders up as we retreat. Uke will follow nage almost in amazement because of the conduit for energy to travel through that nage creates.

In life people will follow the same way if you lead with intention and positive energy. One day 2 guys came into my office as I worked alone. They were both obviously very high. One sat down and started talking to himself as he rubbed his head. The other leaned over my desk and told me repeatedly and loudly what I was going to do.  I did not feel scared just very uncomfortable. I stood up, checked for my car keys which were hanging from a carabiner from my belt loop and then walked around my desk and invited them both to follow me. 

They did -- right out the door.  Then I invited them both to follow me over to the entry way gate. I said, “Stand here,” as I walked through the gate and slammed it shut, locking them in temporarily. I got in my car and drove away.  The one who was telling me what to do got very upset and I could see him gesturing as he yelled. I didn’t care. I was safe.

I led and they followed.  I created a conduit for their energy to flow through.  I did not force them. I moved what I could, me. And since I extended intention and energy I created a connection that they both responded to. This is one self-defense situation that ended with me being safe and the guys being bewildered but unhurt. My commitment to defending myself can be peaceful or violent depending on what the circumstances call for. But it is not a contest. It is self-defense. 

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Let's celebrate our self-defense choices





Class today small but good. We talked about expansion and contraction and the decision to self defend and how that manifests in our lives.

And then after class we talked about how we are the experts in our own self defense and that nobody but the person involved knows what the right thing to do is a in a tense situation. As we pay attention to the now we are able to see and hear and perceive all the signs, signals and conditions and make the best possible choice in that moment.

People may say afterwards "oh you shoulda done this or that" but they don't know because they weren't there. Let's celebrate our self-defense choices and continue to train with our friends ever expanding the circle of love and peace that our training affords.

Sunday, October 9, 2016



Class was poignant: during one exercise we had a tiny mat we had to keep our feet on and keep our hands just above. We had to work with what energy uke gave us. Anytime we reached out past the mat we got buzzed by observers. I got pushed over and shook up. I lost balance and came back. I self-corrected instead of trusting my helpers. I did my best and it was messy.

The next part of class we held a very large ball in both hands I suggested we use the ball as a symbol of a large orb of vitality.  I wanted nage to really let their energy out and greet uke with fun and movement.

Then we did freestyle. We did 2 throws; small and constricted and 2 throws; large and free moving. I wanted nage to explore how both ways of throwing can change how we move.  New habits provide fresh options.  In freestyle we develop skills to take what comes and blend with it. The more relaxed and open we are the safer we become on the mat and in the world.

I got overwhelmed with an uke. I overreacted to a humorous comment from Ron.  I blended and expressed my energy. The class was hard and large. It was small and constricted. But mostly it was shared. We did it together.

Again we faced who we are in the moment and accepted our ukes as they were. Feelings arose and we still moved. We still took good care of our ukes.

 We stay again and again; getting a little stronger, a little braver, a little more trusting; a little more relaxed with each class.

Always traveling on the path, never to arrive but ever learning. 

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Ukes gonna uke.




Should other people do what we want them to do? Why should they? Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.

Should past performance indicate how a person should act and feel in the future? Are we responsible for our own behavior?

Aikido gives us a chance to physically explore those ideas. Ukes are gonna uke.  An uke is who they are on any given day. If I “expect” an uke to be a certain way I have stepped out of my center and into the mind. By paying close attention to my uke I can guide the technique and come to a resolution. There is no room for “should haves” or “could haves” in the now. 

Uke will do their best at each particular moment as regular people in the world do their best with the circumstances of the day. Me expecting others to behave in a certain way is a futile as me expecting uke to be different.

By accepting what happens I can deal in each moment, gather information for future choices and move on.

Ukes can be stiff and sore, cranky and unwilling. They can fall too early and resist illogically. Each uke gives us another chance to meet ourselves. People can be mean, unreasonable and demanding…providing us again with the chance to meet ourselves and develop into strong, versatile humans with compassion for others even as we learn to defend ourselves.

We can cast off what we know and become who we are meant to be.


Sunday, September 11, 2016

Yoga...why not aikido......:)

Everyone should train in aikido. All this energy wasted on (fill in the blank here with fitness fad of the day) does not make one aware of their surroundings. It does not teach you how it feels to be grabbed and it does not offer you any solutions to conflict.

How does Zumba make you safer and how does golf add to your tool kit in a conflict situation? Okay, golf makes you familiar with a handy weapon…but have you ever thought about using it a self-defense option?

Now I am not saying that golf, yoga or dance training is bad…not at all. What I am saying is the world is not safe and we could all use aikido training.

One young woman trained with us for several months before she went off to travel in Europe for a semester.  She was never going to be a lifelong aikidoka but her training helped her. She was on a train in Amsterdam alone at night with just one other person, a strange man. That man approached her; as he leaned into to grab her with a lecherous comment she put her foot in his stomach and pushed…he staggered back and she scooted out of that car into the next where there were other people.  Safe.

Could she have done this without aikido training…maybe but would she have given herself permission to follow the little voice in her head?

I know we can’t visit every kind of conflict that happens to humans…but we can train in an art that allows us the opportunity to feel what it feels like to grabbed, pushed and be really uncomfortable.
We can support each other in our choice to address the unmentionable…that conflict happens and many of us end up victimized because our heads are in the sand. “If it is not thought about it won’t happen.” It happens every day and in lots of different ways.

From guys making secret quiet comments when they think no one else will know, to angry drivers who scream at mothers with babies after causing an accident.

People seem angrier these days, short tempered and out of patience. Aikido helps with that too. Not just with the obvious endorphins that we get from any exercise but from the connection and trust that is established when we get to use another person’s body and energy.

Aikido offers us the chance to develop compassion, empathy, patience and joy along with strength, spatial awareness and heightened vigilance. It offers a sacred pause to look at our own choices. It allows us the chance to change lifelong habits and question our own motives. We can make changes, big and small, that make us freer and happier.

Yup, everyone should train in aikido at least 3 times a week…see ya on the mat.



Friday, August 19, 2016

...when I was just a peanut


I started playing basketball and baseball really early. I had 5 older brothers….it was our culture….we ran, we hid, we threw balls and caught them or got hit in the face. One of the first things I remember my father telling me was “keep your eye on the ball” as he pitched a baseball.  I would shoot at the hoop on my brother Dickie’s 6 foot 4 shoulders when I was just a peanut. Movement is my spiritual practice.  If I am walking or riding my bike or playing mitt’s and sticks with Ron, you know I am happy.

So aikido was a natural for me. Not that I knew it when I started. I just thought Ron was a fine looking fella, to quote my mother.

For the 1st year I stumbled about not having a clue. Not one clue. I did not understand the whole concept of being uke. Why would anyone want to fall down?  I could not roll…not at all. It was very scary and pitiful. I used to hide at the end of the line but the guys would push me up and encourage me even though every roll and every fall hurt like hell. I cried after class a lot. Once after a particularly terrifying class I vowed never to come back. Ron saw me scurrying out and he called me over to explain it was only noise when the guys yelled as they attacked me. He said noise can’t hurt you and the guys would never hurt me anyway. I didn’t totally believe him but I really appreciated him taking the time to explain that to me. When I was a kid my father would yell at me and then hit me. I never knew there was a separation.  I really needed aikido training badly.


So I kept training 3 times a week. And here I am waiting for classes to start up again in September….every few days I do some rolls so I know I still remember how. I will be 59 years old next week and I can fly through the air and land in a nice round roll. I love that and I love the me that aikido has helped me find.