This too, shall pass.

Last night I was very tired and a little off as I went into class. I offered a 6 move jo kata to class.  We worked on it separately for a few minutes. Then we started doing it together on both sides because we could transition easily to the other side by flipping the stick over after the last yokemen strike. I was merrily doing all my strikes when I suddenly noticed that I was way ahead of everyone. In fact, a couple of students had just stopped. I asked what the problem was. Turns out I was going too fast. I had forgotten that I had practiced several times in my office during the afternoon. The moves felt very familiar to me. Sheepishly, I apologized for my self-centeredness.  We started again much more in sync.



That was just the beginning of an awkward class.  I offered a shomen uchi kokyu nage with the note of throwing while barely touching uke. After the students went through of round of throws, I asked them if they thought it would work in a real life situation. Dora said yes. Ron and Charlie said no. I was really surprised at the nos. I asked us all to go through again doing the throw the way they each felt it would work. Dora’s felt pretty much the same and the guys were much more hands on. After a bit more discussion it all came down to how I framed the exercise. We all thought it meant something different.  Then it was Ron’s turn to teach.  Thank god.

He said he was staying in the same vein. We worked on several kokyu nages with Ron offering good notes that were very helpful.  While we were doing katate kosa tori kokyu nage I found that I could not make myself go to the left without turning tenkan first. I have done this technique at least 10 thousand times. I think I finally choked out a couple under Ron’s patient coaching and Dora’s and Charlie’s good-natured encouragement reassuring me that we all have nights like this.

While I was ukeing my timing was off. I took extra steps instead of just falling when Dora took my balance. I got hit the face with Charlie’s forearm then took a flat fall from a truly good throw from Ron. Nothing horrible happened but some classes just mesh and others feel like I am borrowing some else’s body and that I didn’t get the manual that came with it.

After class last night I felt wrung out. I watched TV with Ron, drank some water, took a shower, prayed and went right to sleep only to awaken several times with unsettling dreams. I have been having those dreams for 3 weeks now since I started eating very cleanly. Ron says it is just chemicals getting cleaned out of me. I believe him and grateful for it all. I am feeling lighter and happier than I have for a while. It is totally worth the discomfort and uneasiness. And like all things in this life, it will pass.