Aikido as a way of life.

Fall comes early in the Berkshires. “Summer of shiho nage” is coming to a close. The rains of Tropical Depression Lee have subsided for the moment leaving the woods washed and shiny. Poison ivy and red berries are contrasting green and red, foreshadowing holidays to come. The end of summer light is slanted and forgiving. Mushrooms parade on rotten logs, their subtle tans and browns muted by the green of again, poison ivy. The “summer of shiho nage” has really deepened my understanding of the technique as uke and nage. I am relaxing more as uke and extending ki with my whole self not just my hands as I enter as nage. As the “fall of the earnest uke” begins I will again commit to an idea and train through that idea. I noticed this summer when students were reminded to attack in a more committed way, they did so. So my idea “fall of the earnest uke" was born. Some people are naturally good ukes. They understand the give and take nature of aikido training. Others are good nages and ne...

It's still the summer of shiho nage. The day has dawned cool, with no humidity...the greens are emerald and yellowish...birdsong and squirrel chatter fills the air. Summer is still here in the Berkshires yet I can feel autumn sliding in with a bit of color here and a cool breeze there. All the seasons are welcome to me..and summer is now and precious because it is now. I felt sloppy in my shiho nage practice last night...it could be because I was sleepy but I think it was because I was not neat. I hurried...my shower and comfy bed were calling. Distracted from the now I missed the wonder of blended movement. I will be mindful on my morning practice so as not miss a moment of shigo nage in this short summer of my life.

Dora came to class tonight…we decided to practice tomorrow even if just the three of us showed up but for tonight we would rest. Ron always feels a little sad when we don’t have class…he thinks students are all going away. I look at it like the universe gives us space to rest sometimes because we need it. He and I did a little stick work and we will do our ki exercises again before bed. August is always a quiet month because so many people go on vacation. When I first started training Ron used to close the dojo in August…he forgets that now but I remember straining at the bit for the whole month just waiting for the next class. Now we stay open and have really small classes or none at all. People will be back in September…I open my arms and my heart to embrace a plethora of old and new students.

Tonight at the end of class we did an interesting ki exercise. All nage was to do was to focus on their center no matter what way uke moved them. Uke moved nage in any direction in a manner not to overpower nage but to challenge nage in keeping their center. I noticed such a peaceful feeling as uke moved my shoulders and my hips in many directions. Uke could only move me so far until the energy ran down into the ground and just went away. My shoulders and arms got more relaxed. My posture adjusted naturally and calmness surrounded me.

Drifting? What the heck is that? It’s sort of like taking up slack…but it is really paying more attention to which way uke wants to go and letting them go that way. Every time I am grabbed I notice where uke is heading. By letting uke go in the direction they want to… all resistance disappears. By paying attention from my center I am able to let my uke lead and follow simultaneously as I start the technique that will happen between us. The world gets quiet and still as uke grabs and follows as I lead the drift and connection that creates the feeling that is Aikido. The peace and relaxation that follows calms my spirit and restores harmony in me and hopefully my uke.

This can be a long, lonely journey or one that is a complete adventure. Each class provides yet another opportunity to meet yourself. My journey is both…though mostly, lately it is filled with joy. I have hung in there though the hard parts. Through classes that seemed like I am never going to get it and that everyone else gets it. Through times where people have left our dojo because of what and how I was teaching. Through times where Ron’s teacher acted badly and I wanted to leave and Ron wasn’t ready to leave yet. Through times where my oldest daughter was missing for months and I would cry at every class. Through classes where there was 25 people on the mat and times where there is 3 including Ron and I. Through a dojo that was in a dirty youth center basement where the roof leaked and kids ran all over the mat with their shoes on. Through teaching everywhere and anywhere I could; churches, schools, colleges, town fairs, inside and outside, company seminars, weird collections of va...

This morning I had a moment that almost hurt with joy. It was a small class. The sun was shining. All the windows and doors were open giving the illusion of being outside. The air was clear. The fans created a slight breeze. I could smell woods, blossoms and sweat. We were practicing ryote tori shiho nage... focusing on bending uke's elbow with the second hand, keeping nage's arms on a horizontal plane and doing an L step. I used to Hate, Hate, Hate shiho nage. A couple of years ago I decided to change my perspective. I embraced shiho nage. At first, I was definitely acting as if. Now I am loving it. I am still not great at it. There are awkward moments. However, my self acceptance and my openness to each unique uke and moment are increasing. I have declared this the summer of shiho nage . Each class we do shiho nage from some attack. I am focusing on three fundamental aspects. Who knows? By winter the awkward moments could be less as I relax more and more. I let go of the be...