bittersweet

This morning I had a moment that almost hurt with joy. It was a small class. The sun was shining. All the windows and doors were open giving the illusion of being outside. The air was clear. The fans created a slight breeze. I could smell woods, blossoms and sweat.

We were practicing ryote tori shiho nage... focusing on bending uke's elbow with the second hand, keeping nage's arms on a horizontal plane and doing an L step.

I used to Hate, Hate, Hate shiho nage. A couple of years ago I decided to change my perspective. I embraced shiho nage.

At first, I was definitely acting as if. Now I am loving it. I am still not great at it. There are awkward moments. However, my self acceptance and my openness to each unique uke and moment are increasing.

I have declared this the summer of shiho nage. Each class we do shiho nage from some attack. I am focusing on three fundamental aspects. Who knows? By winter the awkward moments could be less as I relax more and more.

I let go of the beauty of the morning to be in this moment with a little reget. Summer passes so swiftly.