Monday, January 2, 2012

Going left


My high school basketball coach tried and tried to get me to use my left hand. She threatened to tie my right hand to my side so I couldn’t use it. I could not understand why she wanted me to dribble and shoot with my left hand. Being awkward because I was trying something new was appalling to me. I hated her for insisting that I use my left hand. I just couldn’t. I couldn’t explain why but I would rather explain why I couldn’t use my left hand than work at getting better. Besides I was already good. Just ask me. Why try to get better? Taking a risk to learn a new skill was not worth the discomfort of the process.

Looking back I feel bad for myself at that age. I was so comfortable being at one level I could not get better because I couldn’t acknowledge I was mediocre. I either had to be the best or the worst. Needing to learn something new meant that I was not perfect and not being perfect meant I sucked.

Today I voluntarily use my left hand. I usually default to my right if given a choice but Aikido training has really leveled me out. Ron took no excuses. Everything had to be done on both sides no matter what. I still don’t initially love learning something new yet I do love learning something new. Today I know that I can be good at Aikido and not have to be perfect. I know that being in the question is the answer. I wish I could have felt the same for basketball but I can’t change things I can’t see.

I am seeing clearer now. The future looks endless, challenging and fun.

3 comments:

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  2. Thanks Mary for sharing your thoughts, I came to the same thought translating the great articles of Takahashi Shihan, that it is good enough if I do my best, there are sure people who are or will become much better than me and that is ok.
    A happy new year full of health, joy and love for you, your family and friends,
    Carina

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  3. Thank You...and all the same to you!

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