Aikido as a way of life.

 Ron started today's class with ki exercises for warm ups. Then he demonstrated kokyu nage from yokemen, where he retreated, then entered and led uke's arm up while turning and then down into a back fall. Except no one is falling or rolling because most people are practicing alone. The next yokemen uchi kokyu nage started the same way and as ukes arm was led up, nage entered and kept turning, leading uke down in a circle. Next, we did yokemen uke sumi otoshi reversed...same beginning and then nage glided in with a rounded arm under uke's arm pit, sending uke off into a big roll. His last technique was yokemen uchi kota gieshe, same beginning and then tenkan, keeping solid contact on uke's wrist with both of nage's hands while letting the wrist still slide through. I introduced a build a kata exercise, emphasizing mindfulness. I started with a strike with my short stick. We practiced that for a minute or two and then I called next. The next person in alphabetical or...

 Adjusting to training and teaching on zoom has been a challenge: lots of fun sometimes, painful other times and sometimes just weird. I am empathic and feel people's energy in class. Teaching on zoom feels like I am on another planet. I can see people and hear them but I can't feel their energy. I lost my enthusiasm when we first went to zoom because I felt so lost. I wasn't aware  of this until a few months in. Now I have my enthusiasm back. I realize that this is just another training opportunity. I am grateful for the courage to keep showing up when it felt so hard and boring. We have a sign that hangs in our dojo that says, Accept what is and move on. It doesn't mean we have to like it. If I don't resist the change, it won't be so painful. Of course I can't change any of this until I become aware of it. I am back to loving class again and am embracing the challenge. 

 Wow, when we started training on Zoom in March, I never thought we would still be at it in January.  Ron and I are making the best of the circumstances by training with a few students 3 time a week. Even though we don't get to have the amazing Ki exchange that happens during in-person class I still feel like I am training authentically. We do a bokken kata, a ki exercise kata, solo techniques practicing uke and nage roles and weapons practice. It sure beats the alternative which is no practice. While I  hope to see see you on the mat soon I will be happy to see you Zoom. 

 October 19th, 2020 I have leaned into some of my demons in this time of Covid. As we continue to train 3 times a week on Zoom I still get to see and feel the person I can change. Me. I still feel fearful, insecure and irrelevant at times just like I did at in-person classes.  I go to class no matter how I feel. My brain comes up with many ideas about why I shouldn’t go to class, including: “why bother? You don’t have an uke so it’s not real, or a lot of the people you train with have stopped training so maybe this whole thing is just stupid.” I go anyway just in case my brain is wrong and this Aikido training on Zoom is relevant.   After class I feel like I have explored ideas, had a good workout, practiced with my friends and learned something. What more can I expect from Aikido class?  I had a dream the other night where my uke who was a large, heavy man, looked up at me after I thew him and said, “Mary, you are becoming softer and more refined.” I was please...

Everything can be our uke. Any situation, good, bad or unlabeled provides a unique set of circumstances that challenges us to maintain or regain our centers. First, we totally let ourselves off the hook. There is no winning or losing in centering training. We are either centered or we are not. If I lose my center I simply get it back as quickly as I can. Judgment is not helpful and counterproductive.  Why waste time and energy? Just get back to training as quickly as you can. At work if I have a difficult customer, I can notice where my awareness is in my body. If my awareness is not below my navel. I will notice where it is. Then I can let it drop down as soon as I am able. I pay attention to my centering process instead to judging the other person or myself. By getting centered again or at least trying I can only help the circumstance because I have come out of my critical mind. My boss telling me what a good job I am doing presents me with another opportunity to practice ...

I asked Ron to watch me while I was preparing for our Zoom class today. He looked perplexed until I told him that I was doing shomen uchi kaiten nage.  I kept getting my hands mixed up. Technique is harder for me with Fred, the imaginary uke than with a live uke. Finally, I was able to be consistent on both sides and we will practice it tonight in class. I like how nage's hands relate to each other. Kaiten nage means wagon wheel. I imagine a spoke in a wheel as nage leads uke’s arm and head into a front fall or forward roll.

Language matters. Is it isolation or solitude?  Positive mind is cultivated through awareness, acceptance and then, action. I don't have to be happy with circumstances to accept them. I blend and move and feel whatever I feel. When I train on and off the mat I have choices. Aikido gives me a framework to apply to all situations when I am willing. It makes life interesting. We are having Zoom classes. They are fun and I feel connection with others when we are training together. I am looking at each day I am healthy and alive as a blessing. I accept what is and move on. I have been doing small ukemi most days and weapons training as well as Ki exercises. Ron just emailed out his Ki exercise form which I find very challenging especially when I try to do it slow and right. lol Each day I have enough for what I need and more. I am off to do my rolls. Hope you are enjoying your solo training, too.