Aikido as a way of life.

Each situation affords us a choice. We can focus on the negative and it becomes a problem. Or we can focus on one point and it becomes an opportunity to strengthen dependable feeling. Offer katate to uke and ask them to resist. Move forward. How does that feel? Now do it again...feel the resistance and then focus on your one point. Move forward, uke seems to disappear. Suddenly what could have been a problem provides us with a moment to connect with all that is. This practice is so simple and yet so profound in how it changes how we look at conflict.

Trust is the theme for the Berkshire Hills Aikido Fall Seminar this year. There are so many ways to think and feel about trust in Aikido. Trust yourself. Trust your uke. Trust your nage. Trust your technique. Trust your ukemi. Trust your process. Trust the feedback. Trust your perceptions. For example: Ron says, “Mary, move like this.” Me inside my head, “I did move like that. “ What I say out loud is, “It felt like I moved like that. Can you show me what I did? “Ron says, "sure'" and shows me. I cringe. That's not what it felt like to me. I trust his eyes over my feeling and work on his suggestion. I would love to hear your thoughts about trust and aikido.

At  Berkshire Hills Aikido we come as we are. If you train once a week, once a month or once a year; you are welcome. We train when we are sad, scared or broken. We are welcome when we can only watch or when we have to train in a limited way. If you have been training for 40 years somewhere else you are welcome here. If you have been training for 2 classes and feel completely lost you are welcome here. If you are having financial difficulties we will work with you. We believe that feeling safe in the world is important and that together we can change how we experience life. Berkshire Hills Aikido is a safe place where you can challenge yourself and grow stronger class by class. See you on the mat.

Today in class I got triggered…I started to feel like I was going to throw up. I felt teary and shaky inside.  We were doing an irimi nage and Ron asked us get inside nearer to uke that I like to. I like to take their balance earlier to avoid the intimacy that comes from a closer in throw. In the past I have stayed on the mat when these feelings come up but today was different. I did not try to deny the feelings. I noticed them. I gently observed to myself, “Oh, you feel nauseous…are you going to cry?” Next, I felt my feet on the blue mat. I noticed the other people in the dojo…There was Jocelyn. There was Anne. I see Ron.  I breathed deliberately in through my nose and out through my mouth several times. I kept moving.  I attacked when it was my turn to be uke. I consciously asked questions through the panic that was hovering about a correction I received as nage.  I felt my hakama with my hands; I felt the inside of my mouth with my tongue....

When the judgments pop up on the mat what can we do about them? You know what I mean, sometimes in my head I hear “you (meaning me) suck”, or “uke (meaning you) should relax more or follow better” and so on…. None of the above is conducive to blending or correct feeling.  So what I do is notice the thought, feel the feeling and keep training. My experience is that the process of noticing, feeling and continued training works very effectively. I am not wasting any time or energy denying or minimizing my negative self-talk. I am not building a case against uke by focusing on what I think is wrong with them. Usually for me, those kind of thoughts are proceeded or followed by an uncomfortable feeling. So I breathe in deeply, I exhale fully and wait my turn, then I do the next thing I am supposed to be doing, whether it is bokken movement, attacking my nage of throwing my uke. I pay very close attention to what I am supposed to be doing and before I know it my mind is...

We are running a beginner’s class and I am buoyed by the response. We had 3 new people on the mat on Thursday night.  Other times in recent years we have had no response to the offer of a beginner’s class. When we first started offering basics classes about 25 years ago the response was great….often 12 to 14 people would attend. It seems to me that the trend now had been for more confrontational arts. I think MMA has had an influence on people who are interested in martial arts. Maybe now the pendulum is swinging back to people being interested in martial arts for other reasons than to beat people up or to be stronger than everyone else. I sure hope so. We are ready. Let the influx continue. 

Resting, leaning, conviction, abandon  Ukes will rest or wander if not led. Nage will lead where uke's energy is headed.   Following and leading become one as the energy and intention becomes the focus. What seems to be matters not and what is prevails.  Why would uke lean....why not if they have a place to rest? Move the resting place and uke will lose balance. Letting, not forcing with open palms and soft finger tips...no grabbing, pushing or pulling only guiding. When uke comes around to see where nage went she will move in the energy trough if it is made available. First the void must be defined by nage's dramatic, dynamic movement. Uke is encouraged to follow by enthusiastic soft letting.  When nage moves with intention and invitation uke can't help but follow. It is like offering roast beef to a Dalmatian...uke is willing and eagerly follows on the sweep of defined energy in the described channel.  Aikido requi...