Aikido as a way of life.

Two situations happened this week. I wasn't wearing a gi and or a hakama for either yet I like to think I was practicing Aikido during each one. Aikido is the martial art that emphasizes least possible harm as we defend ourselves. 1. Drunky guy came up on my 2 grandsons, my daughter and I while we waiting for the balloon clown to make a red balloon dog for Tony at Summerfest. Drunky guy slurs..."Hi Mary. How are ya?.. and moves in for a hug. I extended my arm and said "NO Hugs."...with a smile. He bounced back before touching my extended hand..."NO Hugs?" he mumbled looking astonished. I said firmly, "No hugging." while still smiling...he said, " I will be in to pay soon". I said, "Okay, nice to see you." and he shambled away. My daughter said," Who was that?" I said, "Storage customer." and she said, "Wow, you handled that well. 2. Angry storage customer starts swearing and cursing at me beca...

Training for life is quite a commitment. We get to run into ourselves often: injuries, classes where only one or two students show up, ego, rank, whether to stay with a teacher or wander about on our own. We train through times when life is easy and life gets difficult. Long drives, economic worries, issues with other students or teachers... these situations can all seem like reasons to stop...along with having to train with limitatations because of age or a long term injury. Job changes, family commitments, complacency, boredom...people stop training for all sorts of reasons. For me the best way to honor this commitment that I have is to train one class at a time. God willing and the creek don't rise... I will be on the mat on Saturday morning...10:00 A. M sharp...cause I am teaching first.

When a person makes the conscious decision to defend themselves they change from the inside out. Now that person has the chance to make a choice about every single situation in her own life. When a person is complaining about circumstances he can hear the hollow echo of whining in his ears. It no longer fits...it feels like trying to squeeze into a child's sweater. Now that person knows that since he has made the the decision to be pro active in self-defense, every circumstance is an opportunity to train. Instead of wasting time complaining about people, places or circumstances we can change the only thing that we really can change: Ourselves. The decision is very important. Until it is made all else is futile. The path is also important...that will become available during the process of the decision to defend oneself.

I like the idea of the empty body...goes along with the empty mind and no weight on your feet. Which fit perfectly with being very heavy and full of potential. I also like the idea of uke being in the space that in less than a second I will be in.  I like the idea of blending and turning and entering as though uke is nothing and yet everything.

After reading an article in Real Simple Magazine about being home alone I reflected on my own fear of being alone in the house. Her fear was that someone was outside the house. My fear is that there is someone in the house with me. When I was a child my dad would pop out of nowhere raging and hitting. The poor man has been dead for several years now yet my fear lives on. When Ron is not home at night I hear every noise that I never notice if he is home. I know that my fears are irrational. We live in a rural neighborhood surrounded by woods. It is not a high crime area. For women my age statistically any real danger is from a violent relationship. Not a problem for me…we do give each other bruises sometimes but only on the mat. So even though I know how to defend myself, my house is safe and I have thought out many strategies I still have illogical fear. She (Real Simple article 2/2013) had a way of dealing with it…just by staying home alone for 3 nights...

Aikido is going back to what we knew when we were born before social niceties bred it out of us. When children don’t want to be around  Grandpa or don’t want to kissed by Auntie Lou that should be respected. It could be that Auntie smells bad or it could be that she is really mean and untrustworthy. Or it could be that the child just doesn't want to be hugged by that person on that day. This Christmas I got to see Aikido at its finest being practiced by my grandson, Tony, age 5, who has been on our mat a bit only to twirl and run and laugh. First, let me tell that Tony is not shy. When he was 3 he would walk up to anyone and say, “Hi, friend.” And he is sometimes not friendly. He has hit other kids when bothered too much and also knows how to use his words to take care of himself. Tony and family were getting ready to exit after our Christmas gathering. He was giving hugs and kisses to everyone. He came up to my daughter Emily’s boyfriend Jay who he does ...

     20 Ideas about how to tell your story to habit holders:                                                       ( There is 1 in each of us ) 1. Forget yourself. 2. Look at the same technique at different speeds. 3. Change the technique slightly. 4. Exaggerate the part you want to change. 5. Let student self correct. 6. Ask questions. 7. Keep repeating the technique until the habit is noticed by the student 8. Move on to something else and return later with the same approach. 9. Move on to something else and return later with a new approach.  10. Ask for feedback from other students. 11. Do technique with eyes closed. 12. Do technique with one hand. 13. Do technique on one foot. 14. Make suggestions. A little at a time. 15. Be enthusiastic and animate...