Aikido as a way of life.

feels good and like something is missing. I like a couple of days off so I miss it and I hate a couple of days off cause I miss it.

opened my heart in a new way. I loved seeing him feel the joy of Aikido for the first time. He had a great time. Thanks everyone, for sharing your experience with Kai.

Today I had an opportunity to say a few words at the end of the seminar and now I can't remember what I said. :-) I do know that I found myself feeling frustrated with my inability to communicate clearly. I often have the experience of speaking to a group about something and afterward knowing that what I managed to say was not nearly adequate enough to express what I wanted to say. It's interesting to me that verbal communication seems so clumsy sometimes in terms of making the connection with people in the same way that I experience on the mat nonverbally. I do experience connection in conversation, one to one. Speaking to a group however, is not easy. I use that occasion to practice keeping one point. That includes letting go of self judgement. Finding the appropriate ideas and words to express myself clearly, is challenging. Self consciousness, nerves, whatever, pop up. And that just freezes me up and makes access to thoughts difficult. It's definitely a good practice ...

of how I feel or how others feel is my practice. After awareness comes acceptance...then I can decide if I want to do anything about the situation. When uke attacks I can step in, I can step aside or I can turn. Each response is in the moment. When I really pay attention I can see the details. I have the wherewithal to do what needs to be done in the now. Freedom is here. Freedom is now. (Did you see the hawk in the picture?)

i was present. i felt sun on my face, teased away by a tiny breeze. i smelled mud. i threw dry, craggy branches into the current to watch them float or get tangled up with other branches. i love running water. rivers are my mother's veins. i feel the earth's life force. i appreciate her strength and beauty by the river. my ki is restored.

This morning I was playing a simple card game with my 7 year old. We call the game high low, or more commonly called war (for adults). The only rule is that upon the toss, the person who throws the highest card "wins" both cards, and subsequently adds an additional card to their own stockpile for future throws. The game ends when one person is out of cards to throw. But who "wins"? Along the way, my creative child decided to change the rule from whoever ends up with the most cards wins, to whoever loses his cards first wins. This child just wants to win! It's o.k. with me, because, as you may or may not know, this simple game can seemingly last forever! Ah, but the tides turned once more and wouldn't you know, the rule happened to change once more back to the original. Once again, fine with me. The emotional tie to winning, however, showed itself prior to the final rule change. Sadness appeared when the game was nearing it's finale. One may think that I ...

The other day I went for a walk in the park near my home. It was quite sunny while I was at my desk and as I dressed for the cold outside air. As I stepped out the sun slipped behind some clouds. I stared at the sky and grumbled a little, but began my walk down the street towards the park. All along the way I kept my eye on the sky. I could see that dark cloud obscuring my sun. All the while I walked though the woods, across the field, up the hill, and down to the river. I kept wishing for the cloud to move on its way. The wind was blowing steady on the ground, but that cloud hardly seemed to move. I was halfway on my usual walk, feeling agitated and annoyed. The weather and that darn cloud were just not cooperating and it was ruining my walk! And then I had an aikido moment. Somewhere in all that annoyance and mild agitation I had the a-ha. I had before me an opportunity. That cloud could be an annoyance or it could be an uke. Ukes on the mat give me many opportunities to face and let...