Aikido as a way of life.

 We may never be a huge dojo. We get to practice consistently 3 times a week with our students. I am so grateful that people come so Ron and I get to practice.  We used to have many students and a few dojos. We taught and trained several times a week. Everything is different now and yet it remains the same. We put on our gis and our hakamas, We bow in. We practice together. We bow out. We feel better after class. 

 I just read an article about breadcrumbing. I realized that is what is happening with one of my loved ones. I identified with the ideas of someone being in relationship with me and only giving a little, being mad at me for something that I don't understand and hanging up the phone saying they just can't talk now and not calling back or answering texts. It feels like when uke attacks with no energy. When I receive an honest, heartfelt attack I know how to deal with it. I can connect with the energy and turn or enter. I can resolve the situation for myself by changing what I can, which is me.   Now I am challenged off the mat to deal with a less than honest attack. First, I must acknowledge to myself that I am not crazy, bad or wrong. People do what they do because of them not because I caused it. It's okay for me to be how I am. I am not hurtful to others. I am learning to define myself and not let others define me. I will step past this as I do a shomen attack that I am no...

 Yesterday Ron started class with ki exercise as warm ups as usual. Then he did several ryo katetori techniques focusing on extension. When it was my turn to teach I did the same movements with the short sword with the same focus. We are training upstairs in our house right now on Zoom so we don't have to heat the dojo for just the two of us. It is challenging and rewarding. I noticed at a class a few weeks ago that the new normal is feeling more comfortable. My  nervousness about people understanding what we are doing and getting value from our classes has lessened. It has been a powerful experience of adapting to what is and enjoying what we can do. Our classes are well attended with 6 to eight people joining us 3 times a week. Ron and I are grateful to be able to practice. 

Last class we practiced kata tori ikkyo, kata tori kote geishe, kata tori irimi nage and kata tori kokyu nage the traditional way first. Then we envisioned holding a large ball in our arms and practiced those techniques again, concentrating on extending energy and weight under side. Training with an invisible uke has made us dig deep to find ways to strengthen our aikido principles. Ron and I are blessed that we can train together but some of our students are practicing with their own invisible uke.  Some techniques like ushiro tekubitori kokyu nage are harder to visualize and feel than others, like, tsuki kote giesha. Most of the folks that train with us are very experienced and rise to the challenge. We have one student who is an orange belt and  is just thriving in this practice. I am grateful we still are gathering and training with the circumstances that are presented to us in this now. 

 Ron started today's class with ki exercises for warm ups. Then he demonstrated kokyu nage from yokemen, where he retreated, then entered and led uke's arm up while turning and then down into a back fall. Except no one is falling or rolling because most people are practicing alone. The next yokemen uchi kokyu nage started the same way and as ukes arm was led up, nage entered and kept turning, leading uke down in a circle. Next, we did yokemen uke sumi otoshi reversed...same beginning and then nage glided in with a rounded arm under uke's arm pit, sending uke off into a big roll. His last technique was yokemen uchi kota gieshe, same beginning and then tenkan, keeping solid contact on uke's wrist with both of nage's hands while letting the wrist still slide through. I introduced a build a kata exercise, emphasizing mindfulness. I started with a strike with my short stick. We practiced that for a minute or two and then I called next. The next person in alphabetical or...

 Adjusting to training and teaching on zoom has been a challenge: lots of fun sometimes, painful other times and sometimes just weird. I am empathic and feel people's energy in class. Teaching on zoom feels like I am on another planet. I can see people and hear them but I can't feel their energy. I lost my enthusiasm when we first went to zoom because I felt so lost. I wasn't aware  of this until a few months in. Now I have my enthusiasm back. I realize that this is just another training opportunity. I am grateful for the courage to keep showing up when it felt so hard and boring. We have a sign that hangs in our dojo that says, Accept what is and move on. It doesn't mean we have to like it. If I don't resist the change, it won't be so painful. Of course I can't change any of this until I become aware of it. I am back to loving class again and am embracing the challenge. 

 Wow, when we started training on Zoom in March, I never thought we would still be at it in January.  Ron and I are making the best of the circumstances by training with a few students 3 time a week. Even though we don't get to have the amazing Ki exchange that happens during in-person class I still feel like I am training authentically. We do a bokken kata, a ki exercise kata, solo techniques practicing uke and nage roles and weapons practice. It sure beats the alternative which is no practice. While I  hope to see see you on the mat soon I will be happy to see you Zoom.