Aikido as a way of life.

Just when you think the dojo can't get slammed again, Ron and I have come down with the flu. It is going on 2 weeks now. Our dojo has been effected by Covid, an aging student base, dropouts, winter and now the flu. It is a good thing we have been doing this for so long. Our plan is to keep training so we will be here for the Aikido renaissance. There is sure to be one. Recently,  we started doing a short work out everyday. First we do 40 techniques and then we do ki excercises. We invite our students to join us on zoom. Participation  has been good. We still have 2 classes a week. Hopefully  some students will be coming back to class when the weather inproves and flu season abates. Hope to see you on the mat soon.             

  Aikido training when I feel deeply upset is a challenge. I accept.  I have the disease of alcoholism. Some mornings I wake up feeling fine. Other times I wake up to a voice in my head telling me I am a terrible person and not worthy of being alive. No matter which way I wake up, I have a set practice that I do, no matter how I feel or what my brain has to say.   Yesterday we heard from a family member that he was very disappointed in us and was choosing not to be in a relationship with Ron and me.  I felt very sad and frustrated because I know that saying or doing anything will not change another person. I slept poorly as my mind poured over all my wrong doings over many years.  I felt heavy and discouraged this morning.  I prayed as I do every morning. I asked for help, then got up and acted like a woman who has asked for help.  I found one aikido thought: keep moving. I got up, got dressed, did my bathroom stuff, and went upstairs to see how R...

 I just read an article about breadcrumbing. I realized that is what is happening with one of my loved ones. I identified with the ideas of someone being in relationship with me and only giving a little, being mad at me for something that I don't understand and hanging up the phone saying they just can't talk now and not calling back or answering texts. It feels like when uke attacks with no energy. When I receive an honest, heartfelt attack I know how to deal with it. I can connect with the energy and turn or enter. I can resolve the situation for myself by changing what I can, which is me.   Now I am challenged off the mat to deal with a less than honest attack. First, I must acknowledge to myself that I am not crazy, bad or wrong. People do what they do because of them not because I caused it. It's okay for me to be how I am. I am not hurtful to others. I am learning to define myself and not let others define me. I will step past this as I do a shomen attack that I am no...

 Yesterday Ron started class with ki exercise as warm ups as usual. Then he did several ryo katetori techniques focusing on extension. When it was my turn to teach I did the same movements with the short sword with the same focus. We are training upstairs in our house right now on Zoom so we don't have to heat the dojo for just the two of us. It is challenging and rewarding. I noticed at a class a few weeks ago that the new normal is feeling more comfortable. My  nervousness about people understanding what we are doing and getting value from our classes has lessened. It has been a powerful experience of adapting to what is and enjoying what we can do. Our classes are well attended with 6 to eight people joining us 3 times a week. Ron and I are grateful to be able to practice. 

Last class we practiced kata tori ikkyo, kata tori kote geishe, kata tori irimi nage and kata tori kokyu nage the traditional way first. Then we envisioned holding a large ball in our arms and practiced those techniques again, concentrating on extending energy and weight under side. Training with an invisible uke has made us dig deep to find ways to strengthen our aikido principles. Ron and I are blessed that we can train together but some of our students are practicing with their own invisible uke.  Some techniques like ushiro tekubitori kokyu nage are harder to visualize and feel than others, like, tsuki kote giesha. Most of the folks that train with us are very experienced and rise to the challenge. We have one student who is an orange belt and  is just thriving in this practice. I am grateful we still are gathering and training with the circumstances that are presented to us in this now. 

Everything can be our uke. Any situation, good, bad or unlabeled provides a unique set of circumstances that challenges us to maintain or regain our centers. First, we totally let ourselves off the hook. There is no winning or losing in centering training. We are either centered or we are not. If I lose my center I simply get it back as quickly as I can. Judgment is not helpful and counterproductive.  Why waste time and energy? Just get back to training as quickly as you can. At work if I have a difficult customer, I can notice where my awareness is in my body. If my awareness is not below my navel. I will notice where it is. Then I can let it drop down as soon as I am able. I pay attention to my centering process instead to judging the other person or myself. By getting centered again or at least trying I can only help the circumstance because I have come out of my critical mind. My boss telling me what a good job I am doing presents me with another opportunity to practice ...